im at a very frustrating yet good point in life right now. im frustrated because im stuck. stuck in my relationship. stuck at work. just stuck. and by stuck i mean im not really moving forward or moving at all. im like working up to the point of being content and on top of things but im not there yet. and its hard because i want to be. i guess i have to realize that things arent going to fall into place right away and in my head i was figuring that since ive been here for almost 2 months that i would have everything figured out and a set schedule going. but it hasnt turned out that way. and that has been my biggest struggle so far. but everything takes time. even relationships. and ive been so badly wanting things to go my way that i havent taken a deep breath and a step back to tell myself "look, not everything is going to happen for you in one day."
i lose my patience in my relationship a lot because of things that have changed. but its been awhile since david and i have come close to even having a normal relationship(and by normal i mean not long distance). if you could even call our relationship at any of its points normal. because even before he moved all our relationship was was time spent together leading up to him moving. and maybe its just going to take time to get back into the groove of things. like i said before we are healing. a healing long distance relationship is bittersweet. wed been seperated for 2 years and i cant expect it all just to go back to normal in an instance! i mean after all wed only see each other a few times a year. now its practically every day. thats a drastic change. so i guess ill just take a deep breath and take things one step at a time so i dont drive myself or anyone else crazyy.
<3
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
ugh
ugh so much has been happening in the past like week i guess!
this whole swine flu thing has me a little worried but at the same time im kinda like ehhh...
cuz i never got sars
or the bird flu...
is the media just making it a bigger deal then it really is??
idk i pretty much try to ignore it as i go through my day.
but theres always some like update about it and then im like 0_0 all over again.
like today i guess a 2 year old died in houston (great)
i just hope this whole thing gets over with really quick because the last thing this country needs is a bunch of sick people.
its bad enough were in a recession.
anywhoooooooo.
i really wish i worked full time at juicy.
id be set if i did.
and im prob gonna have to go back to working at justice.
which really sucks cuz i hate that place.
but maybe i should just apply at other places for now.
or cal best buy back for an interview since freakin hollister isnt going to give me a lot of hours.
i know this seems like a bunch of jumble so let me recap for you.
my first job i got out here in texas was justice! the store that was limited too
right after like literally hours after i was hired at juicy couture.
i kept both.
i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee working at juicy! its a lot of fun!
but justice sucks sucks sucks!
so i got hired at hollister and quit justice.
but hollsiter hasnt even called me to come in and fill out my paperwork cuz they dont have any hours to give out and im just like :| cuz they said they were gonna call me last week and they didnt.
blah this blog is tooooooo long!
this whole swine flu thing has me a little worried but at the same time im kinda like ehhh...
cuz i never got sars
or the bird flu...
is the media just making it a bigger deal then it really is??
idk i pretty much try to ignore it as i go through my day.
but theres always some like update about it and then im like 0_0 all over again.
like today i guess a 2 year old died in houston (great)
i just hope this whole thing gets over with really quick because the last thing this country needs is a bunch of sick people.
its bad enough were in a recession.
anywhoooooooo.
i really wish i worked full time at juicy.
id be set if i did.
and im prob gonna have to go back to working at justice.
which really sucks cuz i hate that place.
but maybe i should just apply at other places for now.
or cal best buy back for an interview since freakin hollister isnt going to give me a lot of hours.
i know this seems like a bunch of jumble so let me recap for you.
my first job i got out here in texas was justice! the store that was limited too
right after like literally hours after i was hired at juicy couture.
i kept both.
i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee working at juicy! its a lot of fun!
but justice sucks sucks sucks!
so i got hired at hollister and quit justice.
but hollsiter hasnt even called me to come in and fill out my paperwork cuz they dont have any hours to give out and im just like :| cuz they said they were gonna call me last week and they didnt.
blah this blog is tooooooo long!
Monday, April 27, 2009
wow!
its been awhile since i was on this thing!
to be honest i kinda forgot the website
:/
i was really pissed right now trying to find it hahhaa
ok so a few updates!
first im really happy because i got a job at the place i wanted!
juicy couture!
the outlet but whatever its still juicy
and the discount rocks!!!
=]
i had a job at justice but i quit and im highly considering going back because the pay was awesome.
even tho i hated ittttttt.
like seriously hated it
the clothes and cleaning of the store
just really not worth it.
but i need money :/
i quit there tho because i got a job at hollister and im a bit frustrated because they said they were going to call me last week to start and they didnt.
so now im thinking do i call them orrrrr?
ah well its late and it was a scarey rainy day!
lightning is still happening which idk how thats possible but whatever!
im gonna try to get on this everydayyyy.
=]
laters!
its been awhile since i was on this thing!
to be honest i kinda forgot the website
:/
i was really pissed right now trying to find it hahhaa
ok so a few updates!
first im really happy because i got a job at the place i wanted!
juicy couture!
the outlet but whatever its still juicy
and the discount rocks!!!
=]
i had a job at justice but i quit and im highly considering going back because the pay was awesome.
even tho i hated ittttttt.
like seriously hated it
the clothes and cleaning of the store
just really not worth it.
but i need money :/
i quit there tho because i got a job at hollister and im a bit frustrated because they said they were going to call me last week to start and they didnt.
so now im thinking do i call them orrrrr?
ah well its late and it was a scarey rainy day!
lightning is still happening which idk how thats possible but whatever!
im gonna try to get on this everydayyyy.
=]
laters!
Monday, March 23, 2009
im having craaaaazy dreams!
i hate when you have so intensely real of dreams that when you wake up you feel confused. i had so many weird ass realistic dreams last night that i woke up feeling so out of place. :/
and i feel really blah right now.
when someone can figure out what the fuck is wrong.
tell me.
cuz i dont even know anymore.
and i feel really blah right now.
when someone can figure out what the fuck is wrong.
tell me.
cuz i dont even know anymore.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
you can't handle the truth!
1. List things you want to say to 20 people.
2. Don't say who they are towards.
3. Feel free to receive comments, but don't confirm or answer anything
4. Never discuss it again
1) I'm sorry that i left you and i know youre sad. but i love you a lot and i hope you always knows that. youve made me who i am today and taught me so much and i will always always always love you.
2) i love you. if you only knew how much. then you would stop being so you all the time. and just take it!! as you always tell me. i hope someday youll realize how much i care about you and all my intentions are good. id be lost without you so dont go anywhere. youre my best friend.
3) youre in a rut and that hurts me. ive known u so long i just want good for you. even tho u piss me off sometimes. and i prob piss u off too. but thats ok cuz we know well always love each other.
4) u became a good friend really fast and i love it. we get along well and im grateful for u thru all the crazy timessss.
5) you ended up being such a let down for a friend and i wish i never got close to you. you always had me in and out of your life and i was never constant. you just used me as a crutch to get over whatever stupid shit was ure problem at the time. im over you and what uve done. but it still hurt sometimes and i could givva fuck if i ever see you again. i hope whoever youre using now lasts cuz if it doesnt thats gonna suck or them, not you ofcourse.
6) youre the bestest blondie ive ever met. youre such a good friend and i love you cuz you crazy!!!
7) you annoy me. youve always annoyed me and im most annoyed with you right now then i have ever been. youre a stupid spoiled brat who wouldnt know a piece of real life if it bit you on your fat white ass. and you cant get a boyfriend because youre painfully annoying. and stop trying so hard. thats annoying too. im gonna go get my dictionary right now and look up annoying to see if ure face is there.
8) youre such a sweetie and you crack me up with your christian virginness. hahaha thanks for helping me pack and what not. what would i have done if i never met ure silly ass?
9) youll always be my little baby. ever since i met you in drama while we were ushers. lol ( like this one isnt obvious right?) hahaha ill always love you and dont let anyone ever bring you down. which i dont think will happen anymore since youve gotten so strong.
10) stop going to raves and stop doing drugs. i care about you and so do other people so stop already.
11) im glad you apologized and im glad i forgave you. we were such good friends and we still will be even tho im far away now. <3333
12) you have changed from when i knew you but im not against you.
13) i wish you werent so self centered and start stupid things the way you do. i hate that its ok for u to do things but not for anyone else to do them. thats lame.
14) youre the coolest. thanks for listening and the laughs and the fucking ghost stories!!!! dick! haha and the beer.........
15) youre a hypocrite and you dont deserve him. i thought it was hilarious when you lied to my face about liking me.
16) thanks for taking me into your home. it is very appreciated. you seriously have no idea, i wish i could buy a bunch of stuff so you can understand. lol
17) for whatever reason youre mad at me you need to get over it. u know youre like my brother and youre reason is probably ridiculous.
18) you are an ever changing person. thats y u cant keep a gf. just because you got a new car doesnt make you the shit. get rid of ure huge ego cuz u are too little of a guy for it.
19) we get a long well and i like texting you cuz we talk about funny shit!!
20) you are going to grow up and be handsome cuz youre the cutest baby boyyyyy.
2. Don't say who they are towards.
3. Feel free to receive comments, but don't confirm or answer anything
4. Never discuss it again
1) I'm sorry that i left you and i know youre sad. but i love you a lot and i hope you always knows that. youve made me who i am today and taught me so much and i will always always always love you.
2) i love you. if you only knew how much. then you would stop being so you all the time. and just take it!! as you always tell me. i hope someday youll realize how much i care about you and all my intentions are good. id be lost without you so dont go anywhere. youre my best friend.
3) youre in a rut and that hurts me. ive known u so long i just want good for you. even tho u piss me off sometimes. and i prob piss u off too. but thats ok cuz we know well always love each other.
4) u became a good friend really fast and i love it. we get along well and im grateful for u thru all the crazy timessss.
5) you ended up being such a let down for a friend and i wish i never got close to you. you always had me in and out of your life and i was never constant. you just used me as a crutch to get over whatever stupid shit was ure problem at the time. im over you and what uve done. but it still hurt sometimes and i could givva fuck if i ever see you again. i hope whoever youre using now lasts cuz if it doesnt thats gonna suck or them, not you ofcourse.
6) youre the bestest blondie ive ever met. youre such a good friend and i love you cuz you crazy!!!
7) you annoy me. youve always annoyed me and im most annoyed with you right now then i have ever been. youre a stupid spoiled brat who wouldnt know a piece of real life if it bit you on your fat white ass. and you cant get a boyfriend because youre painfully annoying. and stop trying so hard. thats annoying too. im gonna go get my dictionary right now and look up annoying to see if ure face is there.
8) youre such a sweetie and you crack me up with your christian virginness. hahaha thanks for helping me pack and what not. what would i have done if i never met ure silly ass?
9) youll always be my little baby. ever since i met you in drama while we were ushers. lol ( like this one isnt obvious right?) hahaha ill always love you and dont let anyone ever bring you down. which i dont think will happen anymore since youve gotten so strong.
10) stop going to raves and stop doing drugs. i care about you and so do other people so stop already.
11) im glad you apologized and im glad i forgave you. we were such good friends and we still will be even tho im far away now. <3333
12) you have changed from when i knew you but im not against you.
13) i wish you werent so self centered and start stupid things the way you do. i hate that its ok for u to do things but not for anyone else to do them. thats lame.
14) youre the coolest. thanks for listening and the laughs and the fucking ghost stories!!!! dick! haha and the beer.........
15) youre a hypocrite and you dont deserve him. i thought it was hilarious when you lied to my face about liking me.
16) thanks for taking me into your home. it is very appreciated. you seriously have no idea, i wish i could buy a bunch of stuff so you can understand. lol
17) for whatever reason youre mad at me you need to get over it. u know youre like my brother and youre reason is probably ridiculous.
18) you are an ever changing person. thats y u cant keep a gf. just because you got a new car doesnt make you the shit. get rid of ure huge ego cuz u are too little of a guy for it.
19) we get a long well and i like texting you cuz we talk about funny shit!!
20) you are going to grow up and be handsome cuz youre the cutest baby boyyyyy.
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone.
Ok so I just moved out of my house for the first time ever.
Like no exaggeration.
FIRST. TIME. EVER.
The house I left was the only house I've ever known.
And don't take this as complaining I'm just honestly a bit overwhelmed. I mean who wouldn't be? I don't know where the eff things are over here. My boyfriend is busier then effing bees when they're making honey. ok sorry but im going to stop typing so proper cuz its too late at night and im way too lazy for it. anywho, i just really feel a little lost right now. a bit overwhelmed and just like too much is on my plate. dont get me wrong, i LOVE that i get to see david all the time now. really i had been lacking in that seeing how he moved over here almost 2 years ago. he really makes me happy. like the thought of him makes me smile. and hes never really let me down. i mean he has. but not as bad as some of my friends back in cali. well some of them that i now call so called friends. haha so called so cal friends! ahaaaaaaaa 8) anyway!
funny thing about a healing long distance relationship, you kinda dont know what to do once you guys are faced to face. i mean really you get so used to your whole relationship being a text message, phonecall, or im that you forget how things were when they were in person. its a bit sad but understandable. idk. i just feel way confused right now.
not about my feelings, just in general. but im just hoping things will get better and i will get more comfortable cuz i just feel too weird right now.
peaceeeeee&alwayslove.
Like no exaggeration.
FIRST. TIME. EVER.
The house I left was the only house I've ever known.
And don't take this as complaining I'm just honestly a bit overwhelmed. I mean who wouldn't be? I don't know where the eff things are over here. My boyfriend is busier then effing bees when they're making honey. ok sorry but im going to stop typing so proper cuz its too late at night and im way too lazy for it. anywho, i just really feel a little lost right now. a bit overwhelmed and just like too much is on my plate. dont get me wrong, i LOVE that i get to see david all the time now. really i had been lacking in that seeing how he moved over here almost 2 years ago. he really makes me happy. like the thought of him makes me smile. and hes never really let me down. i mean he has. but not as bad as some of my friends back in cali. well some of them that i now call so called friends. haha so called so cal friends! ahaaaaaaaa 8) anyway!
funny thing about a healing long distance relationship, you kinda dont know what to do once you guys are faced to face. i mean really you get so used to your whole relationship being a text message, phonecall, or im that you forget how things were when they were in person. its a bit sad but understandable. idk. i just feel way confused right now.
not about my feelings, just in general. but im just hoping things will get better and i will get more comfortable cuz i just feel too weird right now.
peaceeeeee&alwayslove.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
